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   Bittersweet. I liked my Neurosurgeon. Nice guy, pleasant, thorough. He called my meningioma an "incidental" finding. I may live with this tumor forever without it ever growing. Or it grows and I have surgery. He thinks due to the MRI findings indicating calcification it appears I've had King Tut for many years. Apparently there are thousands of people with meningioma's that will die with them, not from them, never knowing they had it. I would've preferred that option. Is this a relief? He can't actually say it's non-cancerous unless he tests a sample which of course means surgery. He doesn't want to do surgery unless it grows because I don't have classic symptoms (so the severe headaches, dizziness, memory issues aren't?)...oh, or I have a seizure, in which case go immediately to an ER so it can be removed. Or loss of feeling on the left side of my body; like if I slide off the couch. But if it does grow and I need surgery I ask how I will be after. He said it would be better if it was located in the frontal lobe rather than the parietal. Let me just lean over and shake my head...nope that didn't work. Sorry, can't move it for ya Doc. My tumor is situated in the motor skills section of the brain. Sandra Davis would have to bedazzle my walker.
  So what now? We wait 3 months for another MRI to check for growth.  Tick Tick Tick. Then if no growth I go again in 6 months. Tick Tick Tick Tick Tick Tick. That's what this feels like. And then MRI's for the rest of my life extending them each time. Tick Frickin' Tick.
   For me Tut is back in his tomb where he can hang out with the rest of the cobwebs and old disco balls from the 70's in my brain. But it's there. It won't magically disappear. Trying not to "what if" or "when" or any other morbid thoughts. I've had more than my share the last few weeks.
   I do however feel so blessed from the outpouring of prayers, positive energy and support from all my family and friends. I learned who is there for me during the rough times. Rekindled a few friendships and even have a "bitch buddy" with his own health issues. We can write in emails to each other the things we don't tell others because they won't get it or it's too sad for them to hear.
   What we have both realized however is that our family and friends are what this life journey is about. I have told everyone who matters to me that I love them. They probably already know it but I will keep on saying it. It's very easy to share love, to enjoy the simple things like hugging my grandchildren, playing Scrabble with my kids, making cookies with my Mom. And unconditional love from my wife. Her love sees me through every day which is remarkable to me.
   Now, go tell someone you love them. Tell everyone. I love you.