Frostie Saves the Day

The wife and I went to Provincetown for our anniversary. We enjoy going this time of year because the craziness hasn't started and we can enjoy the ocean, good food, a bit of shopping...ok for me it was more than a bit....reading and quiet. Sometimes we don't realize how noisy our everyday lives are until we go to a place where the only sound is the waves slapping against the shore. And when I saw the baby seal on the last day....I was thankful for Mama Nature.
I love The Cape. I spent many years living in Hyannis and Yarmouthport so whenever I get over the bridge if feels like coming home. I enjoy driving Route 6A, it's very gray this time of year. The fencing tends to blend in with the leafless trees. And then you will see the crocuses pop up here and there with a splash of white, purple and yellow. Spring is right around the corner and there is time to enjoy the beauty before the tourists gobble up the streets.
As we were leaving the Cape we decided to drive home via 6A and find a spot to each lunch. We drove by so many places that I use to frequent, like Grey's Beach in YarmouthPort with it's long boardwalk, Brewster Fish House, La Bodega and the First Parish Brewster, a UU church that brought me back to center after a difficult divorce.
So we're rambling but as we got closer to the bridge my romance with the Cape turned to melancholy and then grief. I was leaving my safe spaces and ocean and slower lifestyle. By the time we stopped at a little restaurant...lots of ambiance, terrible service, and little a gal with soy allergies can eat...I was in tears for my former home and simpler style when my kids were young (and I was thinner and my hair was still red).
We arrive home to our dilapidating apartment on a noisy street into our first floor of a triple decker and see the trash thrown on the grass, the destroyed grass from overzealous plowing and my moldy bathroom ceiling. You'd think a landlord would want to keep up the place but in 13 years I've seen very little.
I unpack and settle in for a night of tv.(Have you seen Saving Grace? She's got ovaries!) Jennah is in her cave, er, room and Harriet goes off to bed. The unraveling begins and then I'm in full panick. Can a girl get a paper bag here! And where the hell is my valium....arghhhhh. All the emotions just flooded out, along with my lungs and I couldn't breath the RockVegas air. After settling down, with my paper bag, thanks Jennah(!) I review why I was feeling so bad and just let the tears flow and purge my longing. Felt the feelings....done with that. Quan Yin take me away (she works better than Calgon). Amazing how the body reacts physically to the emotions...but then we can link all ill-ness to our mind.
Where's the chocolate? Dark chocolate is an antioxidant right?! Little Ms. Gloomy spends the next day in a funky haze. My head feels like mush. What I need is some laughter. Having a good laugh has always made things better. How can you be blue when laughing? A friend, I like to call her my soulsistah, sent me the best medicine...Frostie the Cockatoo, on YouTube. I saw that little bird dancing and flipping her head around like the chick in the Exorcist and I was hooked. Out came the laughter and with it all the gunk from my emotional funk. Bless the beasts baby. So go check out "Frostie Dancing to Shake Your Tail Feather" and bring in da laughter funk. Now, where did I leave that chocolate?
Feels good to be back....woohoo!